So this is the moment you've all been waiting for-with bated breath, no less-the moment when I discuss this woman's sex. This is no better time.

If you're squeamish, now's the time that you may want to go to another site. Thanks for the traffic tho'.

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Okay, now that the prudes are out of the way.... I'm currently listening to "Go Deep" by Janet Jackson. I know you're thinking, "But Monica, isn't your husband studying to be a pastor?" "Won't you be a first lady?"

Yes. To both.

Well, like I taught some of my LS', God belongs everywhere, including the bedroom. Jon knew when he met me that I was sex-positive. It is probably one of his favorite things about me. Ask him... If he knows you well enough, and you're not related to me by blood (this is important ), he may give details.

And he is the DeVon to my Meagan. In other words, he allows me to be my sexy, sex-positive self. Without judgement. As I'm dancing in my chair, he's looking at me shaking his head while smiling slyly. He's knows what's up.

I'm glad I grew up in the early 90's. Not only did I have a mother who didn't teach me to wait until I was married (edit: I spoke to her, and while she would've preferred for me to wait, she wanted to be realistic), but to make sure that my first time was a time that I truly wanted rather than something I was pressured into (it was); I grew up during a time when the music I listened to was very female-focused. Groups and artists like SWV, TLC, Lil' Kim and Salt-n-Pepa showed Black women that it was okay to be proud of our sexuality (word to Whitley and Denise)... You see, those women and their lyrics taught me that I shouldn't be afraid of my sexuality. In fact, we are all sexual beings.

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED OF, DESPITE WHAT KING JAMES TELLS YOU.

Back to my original point... the music of the 90's, despite the genre, celebrated woman's sexuality. While my male peers had pornography to teach them about sex, I had my big sisters: T-Boz, Chili, Left Eye, Kimberly, Britney, Mya, Monica, and Christina, to supplement the lesson that sex is supposed to actually be pleasurable to women. They, each in their own way, unabashedly, explored their own sexuality without male permission. At that point, it would take at least 10 years before Rihanna would do the same.

Still, I was someone whose sexuality felt repressed. (note: shut up. I regret nothing.) I felt like it was dirty. While I "knew better," I still felt that even within the confines of marriage, it was a sin. You can blame it on my Catholic education. *wink*

As a 29 (almost 30) year old, I must tell you that if you are not having fun, then you (or your partner) aren't doing it right. As my grandmother told me, "Why do you think it feels good? God meant for it to be pleasurable." I know, she added the part about it being with your husband being in there, but still. It's supposed to be enjoyable.

If I were to talk to my 14, 15, 16 and 17 year old cousins, I'd say that. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable. I'd also say, "Be safe, and be sure you want to do it."

Did you read that?

My momma was right...make sure you want to do it. Have agency and control over your own sexuality.

It's far better to have control than to give it to someone who actually, quite literally, should have no control. I feel like, especially considering this political climate, I want to scream that. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR OWN BODIES!!!

So what was supposed to be a reflection of my own sexuality turned into a charge to the younger generations. Am I really that old? Already?! Guess so.

Young women,

Despite what your fathers or other male family members tell you--your body is your own. You should never feel guilty for doing what you feel is right. If you do, then my walking 5.5 miles was in vain, and I'm sure you don't want to set that precedent. I will make you feel guilty.

Ha Ha to those who thought I'd actually include details. Perverts. That is MY business. Which actually, is my point. A woman's sexuality and choices on what she chooses to do with her body, are hers and hers alone.

I honestly can't end this post because I know I'll end up adding to it. So I'll "end" it here. For now.